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Wrist Pain

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It’s 3am and I’m here blogging because I couldn’t sleep with the pain in my right wrist. I can hear Ken snoring from our bedroom. Otherwise, it’s so quiet I can hear the clock ticking on the wall and the soft hum of the air purifier near our kitchen.

I had to call in (email, rather) sick for work tomorrow because I just can’t imagine going about my usual work day with this level of pain. It feels like the bones in my right wrist were partially pulverized and the resulting shards are tearing at my muscles and nerves. I’d been doing okay since Monday—managing the pain with tape and the guards, but I guess today was just not a good day.

I remember this whole week, twisting the cap open on my water and tea bottles made me cringe because the simple act of applying force with my hands and fingers causes pain. I notice that when I’m typing, I have to actually force myself to slow down. I can’t type at my usual speed because I notice that my hands get tired and I get paranoid about making the pain worse somehow.

Anyway, I understand that at some point I will need to take pain medication but I just don’t believe in popping a Tylenol or two when I know it’s going to damage my stomach and liver, especially if I choose not to eat this late at night just so that it’ll go down easier. For that matter, I don’t believe in masking symptoms either. But I will take them if the pain is truly unbearable. For now, I stuck an adhesive pad of Salonpas over my wrist and then wrapped the whole thing with my wristguard. My right middle finger is also acting up so I had to tape it up to help restrict movement. Looking at the photo above, I notice that the fingers are slightly swollen (the skin around the ring is my biggest clue). Yikes.

Random movements/rotations of said wrist sometimes gives me this strange popping sensation. It’s the same feeling of when you pop your wrist joint but only it’s involuntary, feels more sharp and jagged, and it actually hurts instead of offering relief. A part of me has been trying very hard to subdue the slowly rising panic in the back of my mind, so I end up feeling very…detached from all of this. I ate relatively healthy today, no junk or carbs. Yes, I’ve been looking longingly at the pumpkin shaped bowl on my work desk containing Reeses peanut butter cups (for customers during Halloween month), but damned if I resisted that temptation the whole week. I’m proud of myself. My food repertoire for today consisted of sausage, asparagus, and egg for breakfast. One small cup of instant coffee. Chicken garden salad for lunch. Grilled pork and salad for dinner. The only thing I did different since Monday was I didn’t eat my usual packet of dark chocolate (70% cocoa), which I know is a good source of copper.

I can’t help but notice that in the previous flare up I had that I can clearly recall, the pattern was the same: pain in the fingers, not always bilateral, traveling eventually to the wrists with this same exact painful popping sensation. I wonder if the weather has anything to do with it? The season is transitioning from Summer to Fall and there’s a huge typhoon on the way to Japan. Is there some sort of atmospheric pressure fluctuations affecting my body? Last year around this time is when I had a huge flare up that resulted in my going to see the doctor, getting referred to a Japanese rheumatoid specialist, and my blood results, along with my X-rays, all coming back negative for any form of arthritis and auto-immune diseases. Except last time, I remember that I had a lot more stiffness (especially in the mornings) and tingling sensations (more so at night). I did not experience those particular symptoms for this current flare up.

So seriously…what is going on? 😦

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Clairo “4EVER”

 

I discovered this song on Spotify on my way to work this morning and I was blown away. At first, I thought the singer must have been much older, so I was floored when I discovered that she’s only 21 (and maybe a few years younger when she wrote this song). To me that’s incredible and terrifying at the same time. As a mom of a young daughter, I’m absolutely terrified at the prospect of my little girl growing up and expressing this level of sensuality at such a young age!

Nevertheless, and because I know what it’s like to grow up fast, this is my current jam on replay.

See you in the morning, over coffee. We’ll talk…Oh…

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Weekday Mornings

My weekday mornings usually look like this. I wake Miyu up at around 0630, she shuffles groggily over to the living room, and plops unceremoniously onto the couch, just like so.

I make her breakfast, which is typically toaster pizza squares or sausage, egg whites, and toast. I then prepare my own breakfast which I put in a meal prep container (usually some kind of salad greens, sausage, and one egg), and then put it in my bag so I don’t forget it on the dining table like I’ve done so many times before. After that, I prepare (if I have the time, which is more often than not) Ken’s breakfast burrito. I would prepare him the usual sausage, egg, toast deal but he eats breakfast in the car so I had to come up with something he can eat easily with one hand.

Anyway, I recently had a flare up this past week (arthritis). Last Thursday my hands were in a lot of pain. It felt like there were pinched nerves inside my fingers and stiff joints that would get triggered with certain movements. Now I’m better but I’m feeling new pain in my wrists. They feel very weak and sensitive. I remember last week my left middle finger was the most painful. This is how it is during flare ups. The pain sort of travels. So today, I’m wearing both of my wrist guards.

I’m starting to make the correlation that it’s what I’m eating that’s triggering my flare ups. During my leave in late September, I ate poorly and last week I ate a lot of bread, potato, and sugary desserts (so again, poorly).

I’m proud of myself though because yesterday, I officially restarted keto. I didn’t eat or snack on any carbs, per se. The only exception was the spinach wrap on my Subway but it’s fine. The only snack I did technically have was one packet of dark chocolate and a small packet of mixed nuts. It helped that I had to fast for 12 hours last night since I had to get my blood drawn this morning to check my cholesterol. I think going forward, I’m going to strictly stop eating at 8pm and only drink water if I’m thirsty. No more eating late junk foods (like McDonalds) at 10 or 11pm (around the time Ken comes home), no matter how tempting the Oreo McFlurry might be.

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Patiently Waiting for Fall

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I made the mistake of answering the door earlier as I was doing the laundry. Our window was open so whoever was out there knew someone was home so I felt bad for not answering. Anyway, I shouldn’t have felt bad because it turned out to be Jehovah’s Witnesses recruiters. FML. I had thought I could simply turn them away by stating that I don’t speak Japanese but just my luck…they spoke English. That’s actually typical of religious recruiters though. Sigh.

The only good thing that came out of that interaction? The younger lady of the two, upon noticing Miyu quietly appearing at my side, immediately said “Oh! She’s so cute! She looks just like you!” My next door neighbor always says that Miyu is essentially a replica of her father. Without fail. So take that neighbor!

On another note, I feel so incredibly relieved to have finally settled my blog. It’s like I was away from my digital “home” for so long, and after so many years, I finally made my way back. I had forgotten how cozy and cathartic it is to defragment my thoughts through journaling and photography. I think the last time I blogged seriously was around 2007~2011. After that it was a hazy, somewhat dark, roller coaster ride through life.

I have a backlog of things to update on. Ken surprised me with a new camera in late August, for example. I have new mugs that I absolutely adore (one of them, that looks like a watermelon, is in the photo above). Some updates on my arthritis situation. Plans of moving to a new apartment late this year or early next, Miyu’s new fondness of our beloved game HayDay, anxiety over her starting elementary school next April, my looking forward to the colder weather and my gratitude for having survived yet another grueling summer, essential oil sprays, getting my bachelor’s degree next year, and other miscellaneous things.

My three classes are ending soon so I’m in a crunch right now to finish all of my projects. I’ve been feeling guilty lately because the time I was supposed to spend on those projects went instead to my reestablishing my blog. But what can I say? That’s typical of me though. 🙂

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New Carrot Obsession?

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There’s this store at our train station with lots of random cute stuff for the home and my eyes were immediately drawn to these carrots. The big one is a silicone pen case and the smaller one is correction tape. I had to throw in the green pencil because I thought it looked so cute. It’s made to look like a realistic traditional pencil when in fact…it’s actually mechanical. 😉

For some strange reason, Miyu likes to randomly use the pencil case as her pretend guitar. Often I’ll be sitting at my desk and out of nowhere she’ll just be standing next to me with a goofy serious face, strumming the carrot. We’re a bunch of weirdos, I know.

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New Blog Home!

After much debate, I decided to move my blog permanently to wordpress.com. I also decided to use a new alias because for some reason, I’m unable to recover my reverei.wordpress.com account. Oh well. For years, I have been battling with my own installation of WordPress and it just doesn’t make sense anymore for me to stress over technical details that often discourage me from blogging altogether. Things like updating the PHP version, database, plugins, etc. Basically I just didn’t want to waste time on maintaining the technical aspects of WordPress anymore.

I’m also debating whether or not I should buy a new domain. I’m leaning toward not buying one and just keeping it the way it is. Also, to offset the price of my new WordPress.com plan, I won’t be renewing my reverei.jp domain which expires next year in April. I’ll be sad about that but I guess I’m embarking on a new chapter in life. Make no mistake, Reverei is forever my online alias, but just not a domain for blogging anymore.  🙂

I’m very happy with my decision because even if I can’t continue to pay for this WordPress plan in the future, it will just revert to the free plan and all my posts will still be viewable.